My time in the Chi for law school pt 8

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Rehab So, this is the 2d time I've blogged about an addictive personality.. This semester has proven to be the hardest it has been to get back into the groove of things. At first I thought it was PTSD, but I think there's a better explanation for it: A characteristic of having an addictive personality is when you find something that you like, you can't get enough of it. Eventually, you immerse yourself in it, going hard and fast until you eventually get sick of it. The problem with delving into something so intensely is that you can get sick of what you were addicted to relatively quickly. Or, you are constantly chasing a high that you will never achieve. From what I read in books, why people get addicted to stuff is because they are constantly searching to re-live that first high--that first line of coke, that first pill of ex, that first beer buzz (until you black out). However, after some time, there's the moment of clarity--they realize that they can never re-live that high. How this relates to law school, well, I'd say I was addicted to being a law student the past semester (last semester I was full time, compared to last year, where I worked part time and went to school part time). Something masochistic about the constant work; liking the fact that I was [trying to be] something I wasn't ever before (a serious student). But after being away for 3 weeks (or what I call rehab), I'm not sure if I can attain the high I had last semester. Hopefully wanting to be a lawyer won't become part of the list of my past addictions from which I have been "rehabilitated" (wanting to be a Rock Star, wanting to be a DJ).... Damn addictive personalities, either you get sick of what you were addicted to because you need more to get you that same buzz, or realize that you will never get that same buzz so why try. Maybe I shouldn't have gone to rehab....